I started off running a bit late because it took longer then I planned to put on my makeup <in the van-another first> so I was about a half hour behind schedule. It was fine with my cousin she said she could work over a bit. Her work is basically next door to the mall..
I arrived in Ashland about 5:30pm, checked my makeup and got out of my minivan. I had a little anxiety shake in my hands, but it was cool, "I AM GOING TO DO THIS". I walked across the lot and down to the main entrance, careful not to look directly at anyone. I didn't want to give anyone a chance to say anything. I seen my cousin sitting in the food court where she said to meet her. I sat down beside her and we chatted a second. We then walked back out to her car to get a purse she is lending me for my first doctors appointment on Monday. I loaded the purse with my billfold, keys, and lipstick. Afterwards we walked back into JCPenneys and into the Sephora section.
|Urban Decay collection.|
galore, I didn't use because of fear of contamination. And those prices.. 20 bucks for an eyeliner stick, 31 for some primer... I can't afford this stuff yet. After browsing for a few minutes I asked one of the girls working there about a makeover for my eyes and she said that there was a 2 week wait and needed an appointment. I can understand the appointment as only 2 girls worked the whole area. Guess this place didn't want my money.
We left there and went over to the shoe department, yet again higher prices then I could afford but some nice shoes. We left JCP and walked into the mall hitting all the shoe stores, the best deals I found was at Wet Seals, but I was hesitant buying anything. they had some nice flats and flat sandals. 7 bucks a pair with a buy one get one for 5 bucks. I may hit there again in the near future.
We walked some more and went into some ladies clothing stores, this was another first for me. Mom never liked any mall clothes so we never went into any. "Mom wasn't with me today'.. I fell in love with several nice tops and dresses at Body Central http://www.bodycentral.com/, but the sizing is bad for me..lol their XL was about like a 10-12... I'm 14 on tops and 16 on dresses and skirts. Oh well nothing here I can wear. BUT, I now have another weight loss goal, I MUST get down to a 10-12 and get me this one dress/sweater combo it was to die for.. Pink tube dress with a black and white striped hooded sweater. A girl can dream, and dreams can come true if you work hard enough.
We were in that store and my cousin's work friend texted asking if we were still going to eat. My cousin's feet were killing her after 9hrs working and our hour long jaunt through the mall. I guess heels weren't really made for that long wear. So we left the mall and walked over to Cheddar's Casual Café and waited on her workmate.
We finished eating and talked for a little after, I explained a few things about my transition to my cousin's co-worker. It was a great time.
Now comes the hurdle, since starting to go into public as my true self, I've had this deep fear of using the Ladies room. I thought I could hold it as long as possible to avoid going into a regular Ladies room or I would go some place to find a single occupancy room. Well my body said "YOU CAN NOT WAIT". So I asked my cousin where the Ladies room was and then I walked by myself there. I waited till I seen someone come out then I briskly walked into the room, "Great no one is out of a stall".
I found an open stall and cleaned the seat, sat down and done my business. BIG RELIEF. I finished then stepped out and started washing my hands. Another lady came out of her stall and stood beside me, "I love your top" I heard. I looked around and I was the only other one there. I looked at her and smiled I said "TY, it has the pink breast cancer cure ribbon embroidered on the side near the hem". We talked for almost a minute. She didn't show any sign of me not passing so I was elated. We finished talking and I touched up my lipstick then went our separate ways.
All in all, despite the main goal of a makeover was not reached, the fact that I had the courage to go into the ladies room, it was a major victory. I am now ready for my doctors appointment on June 16.