Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Lookout PANDORA!!!!!!

Sorry I have not posted in a while. Been tackling some other issues in my life.

I have an awesome story here, yes it is true.

Last month I started digging into makeup and learning some tricks to make my face look more female. Covering my beard shadow, applying foundation and concealer, brow shaping, eye makeup, etc.... 

This has been building my confidence in my ability to go into the public with minimal risk of being made fun of or worse..

  My aunt  has sent me some nice clothes she didn't sell in her yard sale, so I also have been experimenting on some fashion.  Well even though I still suck, hehe, I am building my courage up. 

I recently joined a group on Facebook called Transgender Beauty Network. this is an awesome group of people dedicated to help those like me build confidence and skills in the fine art of makeup. Most of the products are way out of my VERY low income budget but I managed to put together a decent kit. Brushes, primer, foundation, concealer, matte powder, blush, lipstick mascara, liner and shadow.

One of the administrators sort of adopted me, she has been an amazing inspiration. I have been talking to Tammy for a while now, and it seems we both love fishing on the piers. A few months back I mentioned that I was planning on going down to Atlantic Beach, NC.. fishing on Oceanana pier.

Well last week I told her that I would be there the week of the 12th. She had a few appointments on the 12th and 13th but was able to come down on the 14th.
I packed my fishing gear and my clothes, and decided to take a simple outfit with me as well as my makeup kit and see if she could help me figure out how to do my eyes. My liner skills SUCK!!!!... I just wanted to get some pictures of me done up right.
On the 14th, I met her on the pier and we talked for a while.. before deciding to go out to eat somewhere. I mentioned the restaurant across the street.
After we got to her room she helped me with some great ways to do my blush and eyes. After we got my makeup done I put on my outfit and it looked good to me..

So good we decided it was time that I make my first public appearance without my old self mask on, as the woman I have always been on the inside. 

    We walked across the street and went inside. The experience was very scary and quite exhilarating. I was shaking the whole night inside but it got easier after about a half hour.
After we got seated the waitress asked us what would you ladies like to drink. WOW that felt great ladies, that was like WOW. Well like nothing I ever felt in my 47 years pretending to be someone I wasn't just to conform to the social norm.
It was an incredible time. Nobody questioned my gender or gave any uncomfortable looks or remarks. Even the managers seen me for who I really am, Laycie.

The meal was excellent but the company was better. I owe Tammy my deepest thanks and respect for her journey as well.... Without her it would have been years till I realized this life goal.
My next goal will be to come out to everyone else as well as to start living full time without the mask given me by my parents.


After tonight, the 'Pandora's Box' has been opened.

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