Wednesday, February 12, 2014


I've always been interested in girls/women. But my lack of confidence and the fact that I always felt I was broken and worthless kept me from it. Every time I tried talking to someone I was interested in they snubbed me off, which in my mind confirmed my feelings.  I now realize this isn't true, I love myself more and more every day thanks to the realization of my gender dysphoria and all my GREAT and WONDERFUL friends on G+ and FB.

This caused me to shy away from most interpersonal contact between me and anyone else. I never had the opportunity or for that fact I never wanted intimate relations with anyone. So YES I AM A VIRGIN,  partly by choice mostly by not caring.

Recently thanks to HRT, my emotions are coming in line with my true gender, I feel much more then I ever did. I cry over the slightest touching events on tv or real life, it's hard to hide sometimes. Mom seen me crying once and laughed at me.

Like my last post said, I found a new part of my being last week through the guise of some 'TROLL' who acted like he cared for me.. YES HE!!!.. Never in my entire life had I had feelings like that, let alone for a man. Even though he crushed me, I thank him for opening up my soul to have interest in bisexual relationships. Now I love both men and women, I see them passing and from time to time my heart skips a beat when they pass. Mom sees me looking at women thinking I would like to date them, while actually most of the time I think, "I want that outfit".. or "I would kill for her body.".. while some I would like to get to know them.

I realize I am 47, not getting any younger, but somewhere that little bomb will go off and I will meet someone who actually cares for me too. I hope it's soon hehe. I want to feel that way again. I WILL be more careful next time.

Enough ranting for now.. LOVE You all and thank you for reading my mumbling.


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